Wish for you

It’s funny how
I have no expectations
But my heart still stops
Only to speed up again
When I get a glimpse of you
Sparking a moment of hope
That I know will never last
No matter how long
I really want to believe it
This control over me
Is painful
So I spend my life
Wishing it away
When I really want to wish for you


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Nocturnal instints

I love the stars.

I would spend every night of my life looking at the stars in the sky if I could. My sister never understood how I could just sit there and watch. Then again, it’s not like she cared.

I love the night. If it was up to me I’d sleep the day away and do everything at night. Don’t get me wrong though, I love the feeling of sun on my skin; but there’s not too much sun in Ireland.

I would watch the world if I could. I would gaze at Jupiter and the North Star all night.

I hate artificial light. Sure it’s handy, but I would only use it if necessary. Most nights if I’m studying I try to use natural lighting; until my parents come up. Sure it’s probably bad for my eye sight, but I never cared.

My mum was a bit like my sister. She’d look at the sky and say it’s pretty and move on. My dad understood me though.

When I was younger, I remember dad let my sister and I stay up late to look at the planet Mars. I was awestruck and totally infatuated with this. My sister went back to sleep. Even then I preferred the night and wanted to look at it for as long as I could, (my parents just thought I wanted to stay up). Eventually the got me in my bed and said goodnight again. To this day neither my parents nor I know remember that night. I remember being in my bed and thinking I would never ever see Mars again. And I started crying. I literally cried for about ten minutes before my dad came into me. He asked me why I was crying and I replied “I’ll never see the red planet again.” He laughed at me. Then he brought me downstairs again and let me look out the window.

I don’t remember what happened after that, but I’m pretty sure it’s my oldest memory.

We always look at the stars in my summer house up north. There’s no light pollution there and it seems like the sky is limitless. Then again, it practically is. Nothing bad has ever happened to me in the night.

But it’s cool though. I know all my friends and family are under those stars. I know my future friends and family are under those stars. I know all the ocean and all the rainforest is under those stars. I know the only way I can ever get happy again is under those stars.