What I’ll miss

Late caffeinated induced nights
With a gloomy morning to follow
Reminding me that with every deadline met
Two more follow

Loud crowds of people who don’t care
The people who waste time
Who try to waste my time
Intimidating and infuriating

Long bus journeys
That are too high for my budget
But three nights on my own
Would never be worth it

Are all things I will never miss
But that I needed to experience
Coming hand in hand
With all things good

Like early morning walks to the beach
With short classes that encourage group work
Lab filled days with lunch orders
And rotated coffee loyalty cards passed around

Being able to walk everywhere
But also being able to walk home
And close off the world
Without having to report to anyone

Independence
Optimistic people
Safety
Encouragement from everyone

It’s what I’ll miss when I leave
For my last time

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I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings

This year, I had a clash in my timetable so I had to alter it. I had previously picked a module that links in well with my other ones. However, because I had to change it, I ended up in a pretty random class. I had never deviated away from the classes that I know how to structurally write for. All over, I thought it was hard because I had to reflect and think, rather than memorise and repeat. I really enjoyed it. It was the first time in a while that I found myself reading the assigned readings because I wanted to, rather than I had to.
This poem stuck with me. It was one of the first times I read poetry as art instead of homework. I hope you like it as much as I did.
——
I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings
A free bird leaps
on the back of the wind
and floats downstream
till the current ends
and dips his wing
in the orange sun rays
and dares to claim the sky.
 
But a bird that stalks
down his narrow cage
can seldom see through
his bars of rage
his wings are clipped and
his feet are tied
so he opens his throat to sing.
 
The caged bird sings
with a fearful trill
of things unknown
but longed for still
and his tune is heard
on the distant hill
for the caged bird
sings of freedom.
 
The free bird thinks of another breeze
and the trade winds soft through the sighing trees
and the fat worms waiting on a dawn bright lawn
and he names the sky his own
 
But a caged bird stands on the grave of dreams
his shadow shouts on a nightmare scream
his wings are clipped and his feet are tied
so he opens his throat to sing.
 
The caged bird sings
with a fearful trill
of things unknown
but longed for still
and his tune is heard
on the distant hill
for the caged bird
sings of freedom.
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Grave Expectations

I hate cleaning my room
Not for the dust that gathers or the socks I forgot to pick up
But for the grave yard I discover

Filled with items from hobbies that I quit faster than I blinked

Guitars and other instruments I grew bored of
Sport medals from games I hated
Dance photos and drama tickets before stage fright kicked in
Art supplies that I never properly used

Started collections of dream catchers and snow globes
All started in a moment of passion
Only to fizzle out to something I used to do

But there was always my book shelf to remain constant
Even if it wasn’t constant with the same books

The only dust to gather was at the top

Since I can remember I always loved reading
It’s a reminder that something that can change so often can still capture my attention so despite all the things I used to do is in not a comparison to the books I used to own that each took me on their own adventure only to drop me back to the shelf

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Sailing away

This post is the last thing I’ll write in my home before I move for summer. Between yesterday and today, my three housemates have packed up their things and left and yes. . . .there was a lot of tears. I’m to follow tomorrow, after a whole day of strenuous packing. Who knew my whole college life “only” fitted into eight bin bags, two suitcases and three backpacks. It’s a sad goodbye this time, because we’ll never live together again, because of the structure of our courses. Erasumus, placement, project and final year all don’t really cross paths too much. But it’s more of a bitter sweet goodbye. I’m incredibly happy to see not only my housemates, but the majority of my friends follow their passions and increase their work drive. However, here I am. And here I’m going to be when September comes.

I’m not sad that I didn’t opt for another year, that was 100% my decision and I know it.
I’m not sad that my friends are leaving because I know I’ll keep in touch with every single one of them with group chats, Skype calls and journeys to each other.
I’m not sad that I’m leaving my home with so many good memories because I’ll always have them, and there’s no point sticking around on my own.
I’m not sad I’m moving back with my parents this summer as I have a really good relationship with them and don’t feel trapped because I have so many incredible friends and family to catch up with and keep me entertained.

No, I’m not sad.
I’m scared.
I’m scared because I have to do it all over again.

The friendships I’ve formed and solidified over the past two years are not going to be here when I return. I’m being dropped into a year group who have come back from abroad, along with some from my original year who I never knew. I have to make friends again, just like those terrifying few months at the beginning of first year. I had brilliant friends at home, but it was hard finding some who even slightly lived up to them. But I did it, and I have to do it all over again which is incredibly hard. I won’t have my comfort blanket of people whose habits I’ve gotten used to on nights out and days in. I’ll have all these relationships within typing distance, but I’m on my own again. I know I do have friends left here, but they’re on entirely different schedules to me so I don’t know exactly how much I’ll see of them. There’s only a handful in my subjects that I’d chat to, with an even lesser amount of people who I love to spend time with, or rather who would want to spend time with me.

But I know I’ve done it before. I have my incredible friends from first year. I have made friends from my first week in first year with people I still keep in touch with, but that was in an atmosphere where first years wanted to meet new friends and had the time to do it. I’m stepping into my final year with serious students who already have their friends.

Not to mention it takes a while for me to open up. That’s a huge flaw on my behalf, which I acknowledge. It doesn’t stop me from freezing up from embarrassing stories, or the terror I feel if anyone mentions this blog or why I do certain things or why I don’t like hugs or watching movies. My progress of this has ceased and I have to start that again. My one step forward took two steps back and now I don’t know where I even stand.

So yes. I’m happy for my friends moving away, I’m happy for my friends who are staying, I’m happy for my future and I’m happy for summer to begin and I know once September begins I’ll have the fresh excitement of the endless possibilities of meeting new friends and catching up with the beloved ones I already knew and stayed in my house and experienced me.
For now I’m sad and scared and I don’t feel like cheering myself up today. But I will leave these doors with happy tears instead of sad from memories of birthdays, not birthdays, craft sessions, pre drinks, pancakes, and absolutely everything and everyone who ever stepped foot in the house has given me good memories, even if they didn’t live here (all the time).
I’m okay being sad, because I know the incredible people I shared this year with are reading this, and to answer your message you’ll more than likely send me;
“Thank you for your concern, but of course this is just a blog post.”
Despite my real answer wanting to be;
“Thank you for always supporting me, and these words don’t do my heart justice for just how amazing this year has been with each and every one of you. I’m not scared of losing you, because of the simple reason that you’re even reading my blog post and I feel comfortable with that.”

Here is me and all my emotions,
Love from EimzPink of The High Seas.

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How Not To Study Week

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As of the 17.12.15 at 18.30 I am half way through my degree.
Terrifying stuff.
As exams were approaching, we have a Study Week of no lectures the week before exams start to learn off the whole course. Of course, this week is meant to involve locking yourself into a room with only a desk and ensuring that your fees aren’t going to waste.
HOWEVER…. we all know that that never really works out….


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Cereal will be eaten at midnight with a dinner bowl due to awful sleeping hours, lack of clean dishes and not having proper meals. (No offense! Cheerios and Wheetabix isn’t the most nutritious snack!

 


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List of lovers will be made to keep track of your housemates love lives.
Oh dear. Lets move on!


 

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Buzzfeed quizzes and name quizzes will be shared in friend group chats for fun distractions. It works. This week I’ve found out I’m Monica from Friends, I’d save a plant in a house fire, the Taylor Swift song that describes me is “Shake it off” and that my personality type is INTJ. Which is 0.8% of the population.

 


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One of your housemates may bring down all the toilet rolls and suggest a craft session. After a few days of glueing, painting and glitter-ing.. well… long story short- we have a toilet paper Christmas Tree now.


 

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You may suggest to a housemate that wrapping a box would be cute for presents. Then spend almost an hour trying to wrap it properly.

It looked GREAT ok?????


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Okay
so a LOT of craft sessions happened
My house mates exam papers are now decorations in my home!
It was a huge hit 😀


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Emotional support will be needed from friends all around. Also, facebook is a pretty big distraction in itself. I mean… LOOK at those hearts… how exciting!


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It is important that when living in a house together that whoever makes the hot beverages alternates between people for equality. I enjoyed when it wasn’t my turn.


 

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Dressing up your housemates as a Christmas tree may be seen as “unproductive”

 

 

 

 


 

So even if you plan a Christmas dinner with all your lovely housemates (and honourary housemates), get dressed up with candy cane socks and a christmas hat with matching nails… You may end up sleeping instead of everything you were looking forward to… *cough*

Buuuuut at the end of the day….

Even if you try to actually study this week…

your house is probably going to look like this:

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So best of luck!
❤ Have a lovely Christmas ❤
And hopefully I’m not the biggest procrastinator out there!

Monday Morning

Monday Morning
Fresh and Bright
My only early start to the week
On Monday, mornings at nine o clock
School begins
Children are sleepy and parents are tired
But you can always catch moments
Tiny glimpses in other people’s lives
Who don’t even realise you’re there

Monday Morning
At eight fifty two
An elderly man strolls hand in hand
With a boy and a dog, who are probably the same age
On time and efficient
With smiling faces all around
You wonder if the parent is too busy
Or if there’s any parent at all
But happiness is in the home
By the toothy grin and the panting pup
And the man who has probably seen it all

Monday Morning
At eight fifty seven
A boy stands at the gates
Not even the height of it
His mother, presumably, bent down
A different language comes from him
Followed by tears from a cracked voice
She tries to reassure him
But it’s not a tantrum
With stamping and frustration
It’s just sad
With a bow of her head she announces to him
“english”
He nods and she wipes a tear before encouraging him to pass through the scary gates

Monday Morning
At nine o two
Runs a bouncing curls little girl
Freckles and a pink bag pack
Dragging her dad, presumably, by the hand
Practically miles ahead of him
His gaze doesn’t seem focused
But she’s so eager
And he’s as tired as my parents looked

Monday Morning
Fresh and Bright
But some don’t see it that way

2014- Lets Roll With It

Does it matter that it’s 3/4 the way through January already? Nah
Does it matter I still haven’t made a resolution already? Nah
Does it matter I stayed in my pyjamas all day? Nah
Does it matter that my first college deadline is in 3 days? Nah

Well you know…. it probably does… but lets just roll with it guys!

So in the past 11 months I’ve been on here I’ve been blessed with over 200 followers! And to be honest, I thought I’d hardly get 2 as my blog has no theme, or schedule, or….well anything constant.
Again, lets roll with it.
My mock exams are coming up verrrrrrry soon and I’m still verrrrrrry calm about them. Not that I’m an A student or anything, but I’ve never picked up a book in my life and hey- I got this far, didn’t I? I should seriously start working, but…. >insert valid excuse here<
Now that you understand and have sympathy from me and my excuse, I’m still surprised you’re still reading.

Last year, my resolution was to make 12 videos. (A video a month). And surprisingly, I achieved it!
I thought about doing it again this year, and I still might. But hopefully I’ll do it anyway without having to make it a chore.

Which leads me onto other things. What I want to do after school. Any suggestions or life advice, leave below thank you very much!
Maybe college in Dublin…. maybe….

So before I finish up, I’m going to make a list- hopes for 2014. 🙂 xox

2014- We’re rolling with it

Don’t fail any of my mocks
Recover from my mock results and actually do good in my leaving cert
Spend a whole night out with friends
To be healthier
To have a fab 17th birthday
Go to France with my friend
Spend a night stargazing
Take a long roadtrip
Go to university
Be happy at university
Do something that makes my hair look nice
Learn how to do my make up better
Learn how to cook
Finish at least one story
Take my parents out for lunch
Try to co operate and get along with my sister
Smile more

So here’s to rolling with it!