You flew. I didn’t feel you flying, but now you’re gone. Woah.
Usually throughout the month I decide on a ‘theme’ for the month. I have always done this without even the intent to write about it, so it’s not just particular to my monthly letter series. For August it was “yikes” but that month was horrid, but not miserable. September was “okay” because it was better than August, but not much else. October was “Thank You” because it was a healing month that I made myself aware of by filming and documenting more. Here I am November, and I can’t think of anything else but “woah where did you go?”.
In a way, that theme is very fitting.
The past few months I have almost been overly hyper aware of time passing, and trying to make it pass faster, and suddenly it’s gone and I feel… unchanged. Which isn’t a bad thing. As autumn turns to winter, not much else happened. I watched the Gilmore Girls revival, and absolutely adored it. Otherwise, not much else. November, I never planned on working on myself while you visited. I was happy when you arrived, so I didn’t think I needed anything to change. Sure, we had some hiccups November, but you weren’t around long enough to fight with me. I also cried a lot. I blame Mother Nature for accidentally spilling a bit too much emotion into my mix this month, but I also blame that Gilmore Girls Revival. But damn, I sobbed over almost anything that looked a tiny bit sad or provoked me in any way. I wasn’t used to this at all. My main point is that I’M not sad… (except for the Gilmore Girls part…like SUPER sad over that, as you know November).
I didn’t feel like I had to prove myself this month November. I felt comfortable, and happy, and content, and loved, and secure, and I never even thought about wallowing in self pity.
Thank you for helping me to realise my strength November.
P.S. College is fun, Studying is not.