Dear My Childhood Bedroom

Dear my bedroom,

The Christmas season wouldn’t be complete without you. After stress between exams, people and anything else possible, I appreciate your comfort. I appreciate how you’re here for me (even though I skipped out on a few weekends from seeing you when I know I should have). The one thing I look forward to is your smell. The familiar scent for the instant few seconds I open you up and take everything in. Nothing else could solve my tiredness, stress, travel sickness or worry like the comfort of you did.
My mothers favourite part of the room is your ceiling. I missed your glow in the dark stars, and dolphins. I don’t really know why dolphins would glow in the dark, but mum arrived home one day with them and I was excited to put them all up. Years later they lost their glow a little bit, but not enough to take them down. Mum told me when she needs a little bit of hope she comes in and turns off the lights. I guess the glow gave her hope just like I got from them during sleepless stressful nights.

Dad never comes to visit you. Mum never said why.

I inherited you when my sister moved out. She thought if she annoyed me enough that I would move out and she would have the bigger bedroom. She underestimated my stubbornness and possessiveness. Which is why I still have you under my ownership. However, she was always allowed into you because of her once ownership. I never even tested her room, out of fear. But I would never want to cheat on you. I used to sleep in her room on Christmas Eve because it’s above our sitting room and she told me she could always hear Santa Claus. One of the rare times I wished the unthinkable… I never said it out loud though.

To make me feel better, mum would tell me to look out the window for the sleigh. She always told me she could hear the bells, and I convinced myself I could too. You encouraged my imagination. Many stories were written while staring out the giant window which took over the left side of my room. It’s been a constant battle between desk versus and extra bed, depending on the season and how I felt. I always preferred a workspace for creativity rather than study. I also liked sleepovers.

Your blue walls surrounding it still have an indescribable soothing effect I could never replace. Even if I did cover most of them with posters and pictures and trinkets and memories. You never failed to provide me with the space I needed to express myself. Your wardrobe provided a full view mirrored image of myself that I grew up with. I performed for arenas and stadiums and various stages in front of that mirror. Be it with a hairbrush microphone, or just for my stuffed animals.

Paddington and Penny await me when I return home. Their outfits changing on the season, and depending on how much time my mum has. They always spend the first week of college with me, but I always feel too bad taking them away from their home. So I get to come home and tell them of my adventures of college, just like how I used to tell them my adventures of dreamland. They were always interested to know.
The holiday season has brought a few dark moments back to my reality, but I get to hide away from it all in the comfort of you. I want to thank you for your support all these years, and apologise for the mess I made. I swear I’ll clean it up soon.
Maybe.

All my affection,
Eimear

glow-in-the-dark-stars-on-the-ceiling-and-walls.jpg

Advertisements

13 thoughts on “Dear My Childhood Bedroom

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s