Alter Ego


photo sourced from tumblr.com

I want to live an exciting life
But I’m much too scared, I know
I want tattoos and too much hair dye
And loads of piercings to show

But I want to live a simplistic life
With flowers and a polaroid camera
With waves in my hair
And no eyeliner care
Just bohemian freedom and go

I’d flatten my hair until it’s burned to a crisp
Yet the colours would still shine through
I’d wear black printed jumpers
Which are too large my size
And plenty of beads on my wrist

I’d play with puppies and daisy chains
Maybe jot down some words
And doodle in my own little world
Sniff a few scented candles
Paint my nails pretty pink
And all with my hair neatly curled

Wouldn’t it be fun
To be two things at once
Even if they contrast so greatly?
But I know I’ve no courage
To be either one
Because I’m just sitting here in safety.

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24 thoughts on “Alter Ego

  1. Bah, who needs to look silly to be exciting? Plenty of people in this world look silly (ie, Elton John/Any Punk Band Ever). Some of the most exciting people in history were the type you wouldn’t look twice at! Also, burning your hair is generally bad for bringing out volume (or so I hear).

    As I understand it, social courage is defined by not just ‘not caring’, but understanding why you do what you and being able to explain it to folks, even if they don’t accept it. As with the whole “LOOK EVERYBODY GUY WEARING GIRL CLOTHES #SOCIALJUSTICE” craze, I really don’t think it’s worth all the trouble exchanging one arbitrary standard for another. But I digress. I do that a lot.

    Nice poem though; I liked it, even if piercings are totes yucky. Did you write it yourself?

    1. I don’t know, sometimes I feel like I’m not experimenting too much, because of how aware I am of all the consequences (i.e. unhealthy hair!)
      And thank you very much πŸ˜€ I did indeed πŸ™‚
      (I only have my ears pierced once, and that happened not even a year ago!!)

      1. You’re welcome, and like I said, don’t worry too much about your appearances (as long as you’re healthy and dress with some form of fashion awareness). It’s all about attitude and the way you treat people. And sexy accents, but you’re Irish, right? You shouldn’t have to worry.

    1. Perfect? Oh goodness I wouldn’t go that far at all! Just a few thoughts scribbled onto a page! Haha thank you so much though πŸ˜€ It means a lot coming from a teenage poet πŸ˜‰ (haha see what I did there? ;D)

  2. I love your poem. It resonates with me. I’ve always felt that I need to change how I look. But like you, I am afraid. What if I destroy myself? Although I dream of being something I am not, I am scared of being even more unhappy. So I stay the same.

    Let’s dream together.

      1. Awww thank you! Such a coincidence for me to do that. I can’t write a poem without writing garbled nonsense, though, so I appreciate your poem πŸ™‚ ❀

      2. I sometimes feel that poetry is my oonly way to describe things without going off into a 5000 words rant! xD ahahah
        And thank you very berry much πŸ™‚

  3. I can really relate to this. There have been times that I have felt this need for change, and to just be daring and different, but like you I worry that the risk isn’t worth it. Plus, I don’t want to turn into something I am not. But what if we can still be two things at once? Maybe we don’t have to be something we’re not, but we can dare to show a little alter ego. – Gabriella

  4. Eimear, this is so beautiful! I think you manged to sum up the civil war most of us fight when trying to define ourselves. It’s as if we are all two different personalities, constantly clashing and our appearance is a mixture of both (If that makes any sense). I’m sorry, but next semester I am dragging you to Writers Soc, you’re an amazing writer and you should definitely put a face to your work πŸ™‚

    1. Laaaaauren you’re making me blush and cringe all at the same time xD
      Thank you though :3
      I think I’ll wait a few weeks before I actually say anything out loud in Writers!!

      1. I will make it my life mission to make you uncomfortable… sorry not sorry. (ew did I really just say that?) Obviously I wont make you read something, but trust me if you attend routinely you will WANT to read aloud πŸ™‚

      2. I’m looking oh-so-much forward to living with you next year :’) πŸ˜‰ Hahaha! ❀
        You better bring some good pieces to encourage me then! πŸ˜‰

  5. Sarcasm right?
    I think I’m going to post some of my pieces to tumblr first as a warm up, I’m finally getting the hang of it πŸ˜›
    I feel like my comment is turning into a Facebook-like chat :L

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