To lose a friend is ten times worse than to lose a lover.


This statement may seem bold, but it is true. (In my experience it is)

Because no one will ever understand.

A relationship bond is different from a friendship.

A relationship includes love, lust, happiness and balance

A friendship can be anything

All friendships are unique. We are all different people in front of others. The way we interact with our friends, is far from the way we’d interact with our parents.

But friendships are more common than relationships.

You can have hundreds of friends, but you can only really have one lover.

Which is why it’s harder when a friendship breaks up than a relationship.

People have sympathy for losing a lover. It’s almost expect for both parties to spend the next month crying over what could have been.

But with a friendship, you can’t do that.

People don’t understand that bond.

In reality, broken friendships should be cried over most.

I lost a really good friend recently, which is the inspiration for this I suppose, and I’ve noticed a few things. People don’t have sympathy.

Friendships seem so common that people think that losing one is nothing.

I love ALL of my friends, but I had known this particular friend for 5 years of my life. Five years we’ve spent side by side, and then one day she decided I was too controlling for her.

I’m powerless.

Everyone has told me I can do much better. And I know that. I know that the friendship was toxic for me. But five years had to mean something, right?

I want to scream, I want to shout, I want her to tell me what I actually did to make her so angry at me.

But I also want to cry. To cuddle up and eat ice cream for days. To call her and apologise for things that I never did.

But I’ve done that far too many times for it to be even healthy.

I decided this time I wasn’t going to make the first mood to fix it.

Two months later I’ve not heard a word from her.

Two months of no communication.

I have friends who cannot believe I’m still wasting my time on her.

But no one understands.

This is the girl I met in first year on the first day. The girl I’ve shared priceless memories with. The girl who never minded if I randomly showed up to her house. The girl who’s parents love me. The girl who I’ve shared my embarrassing stories with. The girl who has lived those embarrassing stories with. Five years worth of stories.  The girl who never made me feel isolated for my interest in anything which was not mainstream. The girl who wasn’t ashamed to shout from rooftops that I was her best friend. The girl who was my best friend.

The girl who would still be my best friend, if she replied to me.

But in most relationships, we only reminisce the good times.

This is the same girl who was toxic to me. The girl who only used me as her second choice. The girl who made me feel like a third wheel. The girl who criticised things about me that I could never change. The girl who abused my niceness and generosity. The girl who used me to get to know other people. The girl who would never let me tell her my problems, because we were always too busy dealing with hers. The girl who made me feel abnormal because I knew random trivia facts. The girl who changed once we got split up into different years.

She’s the girl I need to say goodbye to, because if she can’t make the effort anymore, why should I?

She’s the girl who I’ll always remember because she was with me through all the important parts of my life growing up.

She’s the girl who has shaped me into the person I am.

She’s the girl who I’ll miss the most.

She’s the girl who knows me well enough that even in ten years time if she called me with a problem, I’d never hesitate to help her.


9 thoughts on “To lose a friend is ten times worse than to lose a lover.

  1. I have lost somebody as well, so I understand what you are talking about. We had a special connection as we are both writers but it eventually turned out to be an attraction so he decided to not contact me anymore…
    It’s strange as I feel that I have lost somebody who really understood what is going on deep down. And his absence made me second-guessing my whole life and it is not a good feeling…

    1. I’m so happy you felt like you could share something that important with me 🙂
      The best thing about frienships is that there is the possibility of having as many friends as possible, so loosing one (no matter how special) shouldn’t stop anyone from making ten more 🙂 xo thank you for your comment ❤

      1. But what are you doing if that person was the only one in your 31 years in this world who understood you completely? I feel like I lost a special part of me…

      2. To be honest I don’t have the answers. So many people have to go through this is there is no one answer. All I’m doing is trying to focus on the positive thoughts

  2. I have had this happen to me, but it was with a guy friend. We were friends all through my high school years he graduated two years before me but still we never separated but the night I graduated high school he kept saying i dont know what to do I dont know I just dont know and I kept asking him what was wrong. Soon I found out that he was turning his back on me. He stopped talking to me for no reason in September of that year he blocked me from facebook only to unblock me six months later and finally he talked to me only to use me to talk to a guy. So I definitely know how it is. He is the only one who knows all my secrets. I dont have answers on why she is doing this but it sounds to me that you are way to good for her!

    1. I’m really sad to hear that he’s do that to you. The most annoying thing (in my opinion) is the fact that neither of us were told what “we did wrong” and so due to lack of communication we’ve both lost friends. . . And thanks, but I’ll never be able to admit that. . .Thank you for your comment 🙂

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