I get tired and upset

I’m tired. I’m upset. I’m confused. I’m sad.

About…. everything? …nothing?

I’m tired that I’m upset, and I’m confused why I’m said.

And none of my thoughts can be processed properly into words.
I cannot fantom what on earth is going on in my mind because I simply don’t understand it.

I don’t cry a lot. Usually.
I’ve nothing to cry about, or for.
Yet every time I think, it’s followed by tears.

I’m plunging into a dark abyss.
Of nothing.

But I’ve nothing to be tired about.
I’ve nothing to be upset about.
I’ve nothing to be confused about.
And I’ve nothing to be sad about.

Except the future, of course.
But I “shouldn’t worry about that. It’ll work out.”

I keep asking my self when.
When will it work out?
When will my life begin to make sense?

Because currently, it doesn’t.
Nothing does.
Not even this post.

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2 thoughts on “I get tired and upset

  1. Christmas and New Year are bad times for those of us who cannot get to grips with the sometimes fake sentiment and the blatant advertising which accompanies the season. We often feel pressured into pretending to be happy when we are not. We don’t wish to spoil other people’s fun. They look so happy, why are we so sad?

    I remember feeling this way when I was a young person. Now that I am older, I like to go to a carol concert and then I just try to get through the rest of the holidays as best I can, without being drawn into doing the traditional things like cooking a Christmas dinner or buying too much, and throwing it away. This year, I shared my presents with a single mum and her six children, so I must admit, I felt less guilty than usual about what I have and what others do not have.

    I hope you feel much better very soon. x

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