Hi. You don’t know me. Let’s stay that way.

So you may be one of my followers, or you may just be a random person whose news feed I came up on, or you may have looked at “recently published posts”. But I know for a fact, that I don’t know you.
I’ve never wanted an anonymous blog, which is why I still had my name in it, but I’ve never wanted to share anything I write with people I know. And I’m not entirely sure why anymore. Embarrassment I suppose? In simple terms, my sister never encouraged me in anything I liked, or wanted to do. So for many years, that’s how I thought others would treat me. But by now, I know different. I know the world isn’t there just to destroy you. Nor is the interweb. But I’ve never advertised any of my “creative social medias”. I’ve so many accounts on different websites, trust me; Google EimzPink and Gawd only knows how many websites I’m a part of. Yet, I just can’t get myself to want to show other people my blogs. I suppose there is a few valid reasons. I post some pretty private things here- yes on a public site, how smart of me. But I’d rather you read it than my best friend who has to feel sorry or pity me. I’d hate that burden, and I’d hate inflicting it on someone I care about. I’d actually feel awkward if someone came up to me discussing my own blog, I find it personal for some reason, and if I ever post something controversial I wouldn’t like someone I knew to come up with me and have a hearty discussion about it. I’ve even set up double accounts on some sites so my friends can follow one, and my posts go to the other. And in doing this, I’m such a hypocrite  I’d tell my friends not to be ashamed of their writing- heck, I’ve started them all up on Wattpad (http://www.wattpad.com) with their own stories. Most of which I edit for them. And I just really don’t want them seeing any of my works. I’ve always had this fantasy that I’d gain these hundreds of followers who follow because of my works. Not because they’re my friends and obliged to follow, and like, and comment on my posts. In addition, it actually feels like a real compliment coming from an unknown source. I know my friends would never lie to me, but personally I’d never insult any of my friends works. Not out of slyness, just…it wouldn’t be nice.
Recently, my friend set up a WordPress blog, and I was so excited! I was like “ooh how are you finding it?” etc, and she asked me if I was on it, since I knew so much about it. I lied and said no, I just look at posts… (can you even do that?) and then she sent me the link to her blog. After reading her starting posts, I realised I can’t become one of her followers. Then, I’d open my version of ‘Pandora’s box’ where she’s see every insight to me known. My secrets, my thoughts, my times of sadness, what makes me angry, who I’m angry at. And I don’t like the vulnerable feeling of someone knowing that. Even if she lives in England and is three years older than me.
So what I’m trying to say is Thank you stranger, for checking this out. It’s nice to know the only like to this won’t be my mum. (Who means the world to me, despite some of my other posts.) If you’d like to share with your stranger friends too, I don’t have a problem with that. We can all not know each other together…..
I’m sorry…it’s late at night…..


2 thoughts on “Hi. You don’t know me. Let’s stay that way.

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