I hope you’re well
I missed you at the weekend
From a screen
Deafening to me
Unnoticed to you
I need you
Tap Tap Send
My mother remembers me each morning after I woke up with a dream the night before. My words would run as fast off my tongue with small gasps for breath and no punctuation even crossing my mind. I had to get absolutely everything out so I wouldn’t forget it. Ever.
As I got older, I was able to write these dreams down in a journal. This journal has been lost and found frequently constantly throughout my life. The hand writing ranges from “bed head sleepy morning” scribbles to somewhat legible words. It was one of the few times I could ever write without having to edit, or thinking while writing. My stories would write themselves.
When I got even older, I lost the habit of a pen and paper and replaced it with the notes app on my phone. Even though the letters are easy to read, I still only write buzz words that I can remember.One buzz word would wake my mind up to remember what I dreamt of and I can still practically recall each dream like it actually happened. I downloaded a dream journal app. It was quite useless but very entertaining and let my mind explore the dream world.
However, instead of listening to this app, I always had the conclusion of my own dreams in my head. It was the “things I didn’t think about thinking about” …. if that makes any sense. A sudden trail of thought or a quick word in passing that never got time to process before vanishing away again and resulted in being merged together to try and find logic in it all. I had a “eureka” moment when I thought this through. I had cracked my dream code. However, when I thought about thinking about the things I don’t think about….I didn’t have many dreams.
I still love my dream world. I can’t remember the last time I had a nightmare or feared going to sleep. When I was younger I sometimes wished for bad things to happen in my dreams. Just so I could deal with it without actually having to deal with it. Experience without consequences. Possibly the same reason why I love writing. The possibilities are endless.
My dreams have always been strong. Never hazy or incomplete – unless I’ve been woken up. If I’m ever in a bad mood in the morning, it’s because I had a really good dream and can’t remember it. I never lose control of my emotions, but this is one thing that would frustrate me relentlessly. But then suddenly something small would trigger throughout the day and I need to grab the nearest thing I can save my thoughts with.
I’ve never had the same dream twice and I’ve only lucid ‘dream-ed’ twice before and I only ever not dream when I’m overtired. The first lucid dream was when I was on some sort of preoccupied task and I saw a celebrity and had to stop my running to awe at. I felt like I had stumbled on set of a movie and everyone had to restart their jobs. It was a weird feeling.
The only reoccurring theme in my dreams is that I’m almost always on a mission of some sort. There always seems to be a “mansion” too, but I’m pretty sure the cause of this one is simple. I’m lazy and save most of my dreams on my phone- since I’ve never labeled the file it labeled itself by its first sentence. My first dream I recorded digitally was “big mansion running” and so on. Therefore any morning I go to type a new dream, this is what I first see. So this is what I’m constantly exposed to and processing.
For my 19th birthday, my housemates got me a giant unicorn dream catcher. I have a small portable one given to me from a lovely friend, and I have a smaller one which was a present. I don’t know if I believe in dream catchers, but they’re pretty and if they make people calm and secure then I definitely believe they’re a success!
“You have to dream before your dreams can come true”
-A. P. J. Abdul Kalam
Red was never a violent colour to me
Filled with flashing banners or streamers
Rather passion and love and noise
Orange was always my sisters favourite colour
Due to her fiery hair
She never failed to wear it, even in her ‘rebel’ phase
Yellow fills my heart with joy
It reminds me of sun and my mother
All the things that brighten my day
Green stands for pride
For a county which will always be a part of me
Freshness and cleanliness
Blue is the colour of calm
Soothing seas with fluffy skies
Comfortable and always safe
Indigo was always the in between colour
Who no one really remembers
Which makes it kind of relatable
Violet bends most at the end of the spectrum
Shining through droplets of rain
The stuff I was fascinated with in Science class
I can see a rainbow
But you can see me
The moon rises earlier each night
That’s a sight I can see and be certain of its reality.
Something unlike this.
The time ticks past and is somehow semi-permanent
As I sit waiting.
With the sense of regret and neglect hanging like the low moon of the early evening.
An evening was all that was planned, of duration time, all dated and set.
Something to represent the desire, of relaxation and little regret.
A fixation I wanted fixed.
A friendship formed, gradual and continuous
Something new started, sudden and ambitious.
I sit and wait some more and hope for the knock.
Look to the the door, the clock, the floor.
Out the window the moon rises, earlier each night.
At the sight, I know it’s time.
I turned out the lights.
Hi Friends! So due to so many essays and assignments this week I fell a bit behind on my blogging. However, I decided to embrace the fact I live with writers and feature the lovely Cathy Lee this week.❤
I never lived in a cold house
The walls were always vibrant
The floor was never bare
The light were never the same
My mother wanted a silver kitchen
So she painted over the oak wood
On a weekend dad was working
My neighbours stood horrified at the door
My father stood with disbelief at first
But couldn’t help but laugh
And decided to change our kitchen
I always liked the wood
And fond yellow memories remind me of it
But I was old enough to remember the process of building a new kitchen
And celebrating my dads birthday in the dogs room
Instead of the room which was under construction
To match the walls came a bright red door
Did I say match?
It matched nothing
It still matches nothing
It’s been eleven years
I remember at age six thinking she was insane
All my clothes had to match in colour scheme
I was never seen without a handbag to match my shoes
My nails also had a dash of the colour I was wearing
So why on earth would she want a red door?
But that was not the start nor the end of random objects
Also in the kitchen was a giant silver whale
Hung on the wall almost two meters wide
Never really questioned by anyone
The story of how my parents were so broke
But mum wanted the whale
Well… we all know how the red door happened
This isn’t much different
But my home isn’t just filled with things
It’s filled with memories
Pots of flowers my aunt grew on the window sill
Buddah powered by the sun that my sister bought
The postcard wall from cousins, friends, family
Fake bonsai tree
Crystal whisky set unused
Yellow sunshine quotes
Always a radio
I never thought these items had much effect on me
Until I reflected on my own home
And a radio
In my own house today
With three friends I adore
I still believe I’m inspired
By the quirky fire red door
Welcome to my body
It has freckles and scars and lumps and bumps
My hair is a bit frizzy and probably too long
I’ve have stretch marks since I can remember
And my ears are a bit wonky
But… It’s still my body
Welcome to my face
I like my nose
And the colour of my eyes
Even if I don’t like the shape of them
My hairline isn’t perfect
My forehead could be smaller
Freckles sprawl out next to my nose
With one in particular I don’t like
But…. It’s still my face
Welcome to my personality
I’m harsh I’m logical I’m stubborn
I’m kinda lazy and put things off
I like things to go my way
Because that’s the right way
But I like making people happy
Letting them know I appreciate them
Because I really do
And I won’t give up if I think there’s any chance of survival
Welcome to … me
I hope you can accept you
Just like I learned how to accept me
What if I told you it was all a lie?
My hair isn’t naturally brown
My nose wasn’t born this way
My body isn’t as bare as you think
But marked with a needle in a rebellious phase you never knew
What would you think?
If I could lie about my exterior
I could cover up my interior
What if I told you I don’t like my tea with no sugar?
Or too much milk
Maybe my favourite animal is a cat
Just like the one I grew up with
Before I met you
What if I told you I’ve always wanted children?
I just had to cover it up
So I could be protected
Because if I told you that
I’d have to tell you how I found out
I wouldn’t want to mention him again
How would you react?
If I told you I never liked the dark
Would you think again about all those sleepless nights?
Words said with no walls up
At least on your behalf
I just want to see your reaction
To when I tell you
I created it all
Constructing a being based on surroundings
Which feel alien to me
Just for fun
Would you ask why?
Would you feel lied to?
Would you act betrayed?
But who knows?
I’ll never actually get the courage to tell you
I wouldn’t want to lose that power
Of exposing my whole self to you
To be in for a chance of winning this package, stay tuned until the end!
So thanks to the lovely people at Limelight Communications, I got the opportunity to see a preview screening of The Divergent Series: Allegiant. I had missed out on reading the books during their hype, but it didn’t stop me from starting now! I lived, breathed and dreamt of Divergent during this week, and managed to get the three books read, and the two previous movies watched. (Most of it happening when I was dogsitting!) From bus journeys to extra minutes between lectures to late night work with the movies in the background, I was pretty proud of myself for completing them in time.
I, of course, got sucked into the world of Chicago and just had to know which faction I would be in! I don’t know how accurate the Abnegation is but I know I’m definitely an Erudite! (Hey, they’re not all evil….)
I had a fantastic night in the iMax cinema, Dublin. Unfortunately, but understandably, our phones were safely taken away. This meant I sadly got no photos of the incredibly huge theatre with the comfiest seats ever!
Allegiant was breathtaking! I won’t spoil it, but I really-kinda-maybe-might have preferred it to the book…. (Don’t kill me!) But I guess I’ll find out next year when Part 2 comes out if I still feel that way! I’d love to know what anyone else thought of it.
Each guest got a goodie bag of their choice, so obviously I chose the notepad! Haha spot the writer!
Thanks again to Limelight Communications, I have the opportunity to share some of these goodies with you!
Win The Divergent Series: Allegiant Merchandise!
To celebrate The Divergent Series: Allegiant, being in cinemas now, I’m giving the chance to win an incredible merchandise pack! Each pack includes; sleeveless hooded sweat top, bag, notebook, pen and arm strap phone holder.
In cinemas now, the Divergent Series: Allegiant (cert 12a) takes Tris [Shailene Woodley] and Four [Theo James] into a new world, far more dangerous than ever before.
After the earth-shattering revelations of Insurgent, Tris must escape with Four and go beyond the wall enclosing Chicago. For the first time ever, they will leave the only city and family they have ever known. Once outside, old discoveries are quickly rendered meaningless with the revelation of shocking new truths. Tris and Four must quickly decide who they can trust as a ruthless battle ignites beyond the walls of Chicago which threatens all of humanity. In order to survive, Tris will be forced to make impossible choices about courage, allegiance, sacrifice and love.
Based on Veronica Roth’s best-selling novels, Jeff Daniels joins the all star cast headed up by Shailene Woodley and Theo James and including Octavia Spencer, Zoe Kravitz, Miles Teller, Ansel Elgort, Naomi Watts and Maggie O.
In cinemas now!
To enter you must:
- Have an Irish address. (I’m sorry to my international followers!)
- Be following me on twitter – EimzPinkBlogs – because that is how I will get in touch with you!
- Leave me a comment below (or tweet me a message) of what faction you belong in! I used this website to figure out mine.
The deadline is St.Patricks Day – 17th March 2016, 23:59.
The winner will be announced on the 18th March 2016.
Best of luck to everyone and I look forward to hearing from you all!
Gardens are envied when they are lush and grow tall
Completed with colours and smells and noises
But not everyone can maintain a garden so great
Sometimes there’s no choice
Maybe I’m not a garden
Trees keeps growing once they start
No need for bugs or bees to make it greater just like flowers do
Trees stay green throughout the winter
If leaves are lost they’ll grow back
Not stronger than ever
Just as frail to continue the cycle
Even if the fruits stop blooming
Maybe I’m not a tree
Dandelions shine a bright yellow
Given an awful nickname
Associated with the lower hierarchy of flowers
But bloom into something completely unique
That bursts and disperses
Keeping the life going
Maybe I’m not a dandelion
Not all gardens are maintained to bloom
Sometimes trees grow differently
Occasionally dandelions are picked still yellow
It doesn’t mean they never existed
Maybe I am one of these
I’m sick of battling the poison inside my body
Everything in me wants to give up
Just so I don’t have to feel the pain
Once I wanted it to mend me
But now I need to mend myself
The war zone I’m living in is caving in
But it’s well known that wars cannot be won
Rather, two sides are broken down
For what cause?
A moment of triumph? A moment of glory?
Or just a moment
I don’t mind sacrificing that moment
It means nothing when all I feel is cold
The toxin I’ve been fighting has always been there
Even if I didn’t want to acknowledge the uphill battle
Icy venom I’ve been trying to ignore
As I thought I needed it
I never wanted to admit it made me feel bad
Contaminating my brain since I was exposed
A hidden fear in the back of my mind
Infecting all the good thoughts I wanted to have
My safety net
My safety net hurt me the most
I have to take responsibility for my actions
A different kind of pressure was put upon me
I let the poison have a power over me
Even when I was told not to
Disregarding the ones I loved most
For the one I loved most